Wednesday, October 01, 2014

What am i fighting for?

There have been lots of excitement heading up to the inauguration of a new 9 Group.
Determine to make us more focus in what are we doing. How excited am i when we were near there!

However, as things move along, things just get worst.

It wasn't until a month before the inauguration that we, foot soldiers, got to know how we were structured or where we were posted to. Many Airtime were held, mainly to sell us the idea which they had already conceived. We never had a say, and even we did, we all know what is going to be said to us, and i remember vividly that 9Group said "There will not be 2 squadron run, 2 cohesion, 2 family days" Well... look at where we are now.. We HAD 2 squadron run, 2 cohesion... Tell me, what is that suppose to mean?

I also remembered command COMD mentioned and i quote him "Sometimes, things don't need to be perfect in order for us to move forward". Everyone nodded their head with agreement. Well, i did not. if he really meant that, then why do we need to plan every single event in malicious details?

Did i mention about the Dinner we organised at Istana and Sport meet at AFTC? We had multiple rehearsal just to get it right, hours spent in planning, all for the higher ranks.
But when things like inauguration of a group, and the people affected are foot soldiers, things don't need to be perfect.

There isn't any clear lines drawn. No, i need to correct myself, there isn't any lines drawn. Just a big idea. They just sell us the big idea and told us to get along with it. Everytime we said something, usual answer will be "we are still transiting..". I don't even bother to complaint anymore.

I wanted to change the people, make them into a better person. More pro-active, more hardworking, wanting them to succeed. However, the more i tried, the more it back fired to me. I tried to instil discipline, but i just could not succeed. The juniors will just use smart replies back to me.

My MFL will never come to office and manage. Partly, because she don't know how and she knows that we do not like her. Because of her obvious double standards.

They knew i couldn't leave... 80k liabilities are not big nor small.. i should suck it up and pray that time pass soon enough...

My last post was in 2010 and back then i'm suffocating, now in 2014, i find that i am still suffocating... and stuck.